fairness.

Today was a lazy day. It rained.  So we decided it was really just best to spend the day sampling from the local cafes. We started at the top of the hill and worked our way down the street. I had a very good chai latte and enjoyed watch the people run by in the rain. Some people have long dread locks, some people have adventurous piercings, some people look like life has taken them by the feet and swung them against an oak tree a few hundred times. There are a lot of homeless people, sitting on stoops asking for spare change. We don't give them money. But if someone asks for food and and I have something left over or perhaps an extra apple I give to them.

It is a quiet night. We made a nice salad and are watching Desperate Housewives.  Each day I find new reasons to be grateful I am American. There is not better way of life. Only different ways of life. But in America and other first world countries we have so many opportunities. From what I've observed, in Africa you are lucky if you can go to school and get a job. There is nothing to rebel against and question because if you rebel and question the "system" what are you left with.  As a middle class American I have the great privilege and luxury to question, reject and build my own future from the many opportunities and options at my disposal. It is sad to sit an watch the children or drive through a township of shacks resting upon shacks. It is like there are masses of disposable souls all here to serve the greater good; like they have sacrificed themselves in a way. They are here to teach us something I think. To make us all work harder to insure fairness for all. Fairness is something I have thought a lot about while I have been in in South Africa.  I find that most people who work with young children have no vision. They seem to be unaware that they are holding  the future in their hands. I am not saying it is easy or common for me to be spiritual and wise while I am immersed 3 years olds. But what does it say about how you feel about the future when you hit a child or ignore them.  Children are treated poorly all over the world; where ever you go children are being used and exploited in one way or another. People who lack power in their daily adult mistreat and  triumph over a child to give them a sense of power.  

I often think about what its going to happen to the kids. Their best hope is staying in school long enough to get a good education and hopefully find someone to love them. But so many of them have such emotional( and some physical) damage that even with proper therapy life will be difficult. But ultimately  I have to believe that they are here to teach and help us learn to close the gap in fairness in our world. 

It's harder than I thought it would be. The days are long and I find myself feeling emotions I never expected. Emotions like anger and annoyance at the children and the whole situation. Its not that I don't adore them all and appreciate the experience but lately I have been feeling very confused and overwhelmed. Children I think push your boundaries in ways nothing and no one else can, thats why having them is such a feat. This experience has made me appreciate my mother even more than ever. I find myself channeling her on a regular basis. I see how unfairly people around the world treat children and I am so grateful for how respectfully I was treated as a child. My mother has an uncanny way of validating  her children. I was never an easy child ( basically refusing to go to school) but I was allowed to become who I am because she always honored and respected my feelings. There is this concept that children are some how less than us adults. But in reality they are individuals with their own path and their own history and just as much our equal. Especially these children who come to us with unfathomable stories of neglect, tragedy and abuse already in their young lives. I think the best thing you can do when a child is acting "naughty" is not try fight  the "bad" behavior by yelling or getting angry but instead respect their feelings and try honor them. This of course is not always easy when you have thirty children shouting and hitting each other but maybe its the thought that counts. 

 I have learned have found in my brief experience of playing "mama" that being a mother or a guardian to a child is not necessarily about being all "lovey dovey" but about being a solid and reliable force in their lives. You should act as a sturdy tree for them to climb on and explore from; both literally and figuratively.  It is hard to work with children, they are uncontrollable and the more you try to control them the more they will rail against you.  

We went to the Cape of Good Hope on friday. I stood at the end of world and  staring back at the striking mountains of the African coast rising out of the two oceans I thought what a site to see as an early explorer. That night we went to a restaurant in town called Mama Africa. It is decorated with funky African art and a live band plays in one corner. We ordered a mixed grilled platter which consisted of crocodile, ostrich, koodoo and wild game sausage. All was very enjoyable and very filling. Crocodile is a white meat, quite a lot like chicken and it is even served with peanut sauce. The others are very tender red meats but with stronger flavors than beef. Cape Town at night is a bustle of different kinds of people.  There are many different accents floating through the air and I have found that most people are eager to chat and meet. The energy is fabulous here and I love just sitting in a cafe or a bar and soaking it all in. 

Babies!

Each day begins at 7:00. It is still dark, but if you look out the window you will see men and women slowly walking to and from work.  Down stairs most of the children are still sleeping. Some of the babies are awake, peering over their cribs or crying despairingly.  The older boys dressed sharply in their uniforms of a red jumper, grey trousers and daily shined shoes head off to school as the younger kids are bathed and dressed for the day. For breakfast they are usually fed various forms of mush, sometimes strawberry flavored, sometimes portage, sometimes something brown and odd smelling. Most of the children eat more like wolf pups than children. Some of the sick babies don't eat very much and if they do they usually don't keep it down. 

After breakfast, the ruckus begins! There is screaming, pushing, potty, "mama me", fighting for a spot on the my lap, fighting for toys, pushing each other and helping each other. It is always very sweet to see how much they actually do look out for each other. If a baby is crying one child will usually pick it up or get the bottle. 

By lunch time, I am exhausted and hurriedly feed the babies and take my lunch up stairs for my break.  In the afternoon the children "go lala" or in other words they have nap time and when they are sleeping I am usually sleeping too. 

The rest of the day goes by pretty quickly. We help the older boys with home works and keep the children occupied by swinging them around in your arms or doing an activity with them such as puzzles or clay. Bed time is at 7:00 but you can usually hear little voices whispering from their beds long into the night. 

I am of course attracted most to the children who are "naughty", "very angry" or "autistic." Basically I always feel myself drawn to the most tortured of the tortured. There are a set of trip boys, I don't know their history but I think they are HIV positive. They are very "naughty" as the CC's would say and they have a lot of social issues in terms of interacting.  I just want to wrap them up and treat them well because I think they are treated poorly by nearly everyone. You have to remember with children that are future members of society. Those twins are little men  and they will grow into big men.  So, hitting a young man with who already angry (and fragile emotionally) does not help the problem instead I think it only add fuel to the flame and damages them more; I think it only makes them angrier.  I try to pick them up and hug them and squeeze them as much as possible...

Last night a new child was brought in by some social workers. We weren't expecting it, we are already full. She is about 10 months old( we guess)  and was found with a bag of nappys strapped to her. She cried all night. Shrieking and looking around wondering where she was. In the morning I picked her up  and she shrieked some more. The kind of crying that nothing can console. I don't think she'd ever scene a white person before. I imagine anyone from another race must be quite a shocking alien site if you've never scene or conceptualized anything like it. I don't know if she'll stay in our home because she has no papers and like I said we are already full.  But I think about her parents and the night they abandoned her. It is easy to say "how could they do that" but imagine being that desperate that you had to give your child up...

It happens everywhere. Yes, they could have done it in a more responsible fashion but you never know what the situation was and anyone who has been truly desperate can at least imagine the extremes you can go to.

Rainy Cape Town

First of all I added my photos on facebook. Here is the link http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=82556&id=614527842&l=11ac71a91a.  

PLEASE have a look!!

Today it rained. The rain pounded the roof and wind whipped it around making it howl and just when you thought it would let up it began again.  I didn't feel very well( soar throat) today so I spent most of the day locked in doors.  I only ventured outside once to get some lunch at new favorite cafe. A reasonably new place owned my an adorable man who looks a bit like Tele Tubby.  You can tell he is very proud of his creation as he shuffles between tables and chairs explaining to customers how the milk was pored in their latte's. There is a cafe portion where you can sit, eat and drink, as well as, a shop portion which sells fruit, eggs, milk and house hold items. Everything is organic and really good. I had a home made veggie burger for lunch, with basil, tomatoes, fresh bread.  Its interesting that you can get such good wholesome food in one area and not far off have some of the poorest people in the world. 

It am always shocked by what an international city Cape Town is, especially our area. Just sitting in the Cafe today I heard two sets of American accents and later on a I heard a man from Nashville, Tennessee who was " traveling with a group and was hoping to be directed to a local church here in Observatory, to attend in the mornings."

 

It has been a week since I arrived in Cape Town and this is the first time I have gotten a chance to sit and write.  So many amazing things have happened in such a short period of time, but I will try to be a thorough in my updating as possible.  But PLEASE excuse all my typos, I am writing this quickly. Also there are pictures on my Facebook!

Let me start from the beginning.  My plane landed half an hour early on the morning of May 11th. While waiting for my ride I met another AVIVA volunteer who happened to be on the same flight. Her name is Maryeke and she is from Holland.  We were picked up from the airport by a smiling woman named Ursula  who's every other word is "darling". 

We arrived safely to our AVIVA accommodation, a warm building with surrounded by a thick wall and eucalyptus trees in the garden. After unpacking the department store that I brought with me Maryeke, Laura( another volunteer who'd already grown accustom to Cape Town) and I headed into Cape Town via Mini Bus. Now, I must explain the "Mini Bus". From the perspective of a foreigner they seem a bit worrying: A  rickety old mini van with passengers piled to the brim free from seat belts and a man hanging from the open door yelling "Cape Tune, Cape Tune." But once you are inside it seems surprisingly safe and actually quite fun. 

We met up with some German girls and wandered through some of the cities nicer gardens until  and then hurried home to beat the darkness.

The second day was a near perfect day so Maryeke and I took the Minnie Bus taxi down to an area known as Camps Bay.  Camps Bay is officially where I will be owning my house! The beaches and line by homes and Cafes with the mountains jetting up into the background.  We sat in the sun and drank Cappuccinos (very African) and ate Salads. Later we wandered along the seaside and I bought an animal skin bracelet for 20 ran or 2 dollars. 

The next morning I began my work at  Masigcine. Masi is a well looked after children's home in the township of Mfuleni.  There are 30 children  living there and ss you enter the brightly colored space they all clamor on top of you, quickly taking to call you "mama."

The children's ages range from about 2 months old to 9 years old.  There are five sets of twins and at least one HIV positive baby. 

As I sat playing with the kids and trying to split myself 30 different ways in order to give them all equal attention I got to thinking how grateful I am to have had  the upbringing I had.  There is obviously no room for  individuality in an orphanage. You are another mouth to feed, another nappy to change, another crying baby who wont go to sleep. You are not a little person with emotions and feelings. I hope that while I am there I can at least connect on a deeper level with one for two of the kids. I do not just want to be another white "mama" here to play with them for a couple of months. 

For our fist shift, we( me and the other volunteer) only worked for one day ( which was exhausting enough) and in the morning we were picked up to go on a tour of the largest Townships in Cape Town. A Township is basically a enormous ghetto. 

Once inside the township its self we were met by 10 African men dressed in Black sweatshirt.  

They were the organizers of a group put together to combat crime and poverty within their community. They use soccer to keep young kids off the streets and tourism educate foreigners about the culture of the Townships. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  We walked through the rows on tin shacks and arrived at large primary school with brightly uniform school children sitting under a tree. We were let into a classroom and encouraged to sit and talk with the children. I was a but intimidated at first, staring to a room full of confused looking school children but was quickly beckoned over by a young girl as a young boy wiped off a chair for me to sit in. We sat and chatted about the differences between the American schools and the African schools( there weren't as many as I would like), HIV rates in America, and as one boy asked "why do all the rappers throw money around, why don't they give it to the poor people?"  They are all so eager to learn and proud to be in school because "education is the future." 

We went next into a local hangout( a tin shack with newspaper wallpaper) to taste the traditional beer. The beer was loaded in into a tin can and passed around the room; its tasted like bile, but I didn't tell the African tour guides that! We then, went to a snack shop to taste the traditional snack of choice( a ball of fried bread). 

Next we were treated to lunch at one of our tour guides homes. It was quite good in fact, a sausage, corn mean with a vegetable sauce and homemade ginger beer to wash it down. 

All in all it was a wonderful experience. So many tourist never venture into the Town Ships because they are told that they are too unsafe, but I think under the right circumstances visiting them can be an enlightening experience. The people are wonderful and so eager to talk and share their world with you. 

Leaving Home.

I am now standing on the threshold of the greatest adventure of my life: Africa.  I have been manifesting this trip for a year and I can't believe that it is actually happening. My suit case is pack, and by packed I mean, bursting at the seams and dangerously close to the British Airways' weight limit... 

Today I went for a long drive around Gloucester (my hometown) and  was struck by how lucky I am. I have grown up in one the most beautiful places in world.  Everyday I wake up and can look out at the great expanse of ocean that is my back yard. But what I really appreciate is all these people living here. The people who I have grown up seeing at the grocery store, or out for coffee or just waiting at the bus stop. All these souls living in this sea side bubble together.  

Anyway off to the airport soon. My flight leaves at 9:30 from boston and then straight into the morning where I will land in London.